Somehow, between the WordPress app and the website…I unintentionally deleted a blog post.
It seems a little thing. A water under the bridge moment. The post was live and published for a few days. Perhaps I, in my typical habit, have been overthinking the situation.
But it seems significant somehow. The perfect storm of circumstances that led me to this new post about the impermanence of everything. I know, I know….hold off on the existential crisis regarding life and inevitability. BUT…the post was unique. I had read a book that resonated with me enough to write about it. But not just a review with an opionon. I’d written about what this book had done to me. For me…
The post spent weeks in the draft folder after its initial creation. Life got in the way. I didn’t write. I didn’t post. I finally got back to it and revived and relived those same emotional responses that had prompted words in the first place. I competed the post and sent it off into the ether. An action that in today’s world feels unchangeable. You can’t get it back once its out there! That’s what the world says.
And then in a fluke moment. It is gone. I opened the app and found a draft of the post. Thinking it was an error or a digital remnant I deleted the draft.
I confess, the post didn’t get too much traffic. Titled after a duck and starting off like a book review…it likely didn’t spark immediate interest. But someone read it. Someone liked it. I can’t know who. Now there is little evidence that the words were ever written. A broken link on my FB feed. Going no where. All I have left is the source. I can re-read that book and find that same purpose and motivation.
But I will never recreate the words.
Words are funny that way. Hard to repeat in just the same way…ever again. It’s why we write them down. So they are never forgotten. Until they are…
And then you go back to the source. To find them again. Only still, they will evolve as you have evolved. Nothing is permanent. But then again…that is why we have words. To help us define and remember and relive and re-imagine.
My post may be gone. But it lives on in me and in whoever chose to read it. It evolves now into something new. This post.
Words are permanent. Even those they can be lost. They are never unsaid.